Conversation

CONVERSATION

Pyle recommends Brian Grazer’s 2016 book, A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life.

One mouth, two ears: listen more than you talk.  33 years old when he entered the Army.  Interrogation = sales.  He attended the Monterey, CA language school and Fort Huachuca, Arizona Interrogation School.  You don’t have to know every question to ask, you just have to know how to ask questions.

Conversation, for its own sake, can be pleasant amongst friends and satisfying for narcissistic psychopaths.  Regardless, there is always a purpose for every conversation.  Make sure you identify and decide if that purpose is worth your time.

Find Out Anything from Anyone Anytime: Secrets of Calculated Questioning From a Veteran Interrogator, James O. Pyle, 2014.

Control the Conversation: How to Claim, Deflect and Defend Your Position Through Any Line of Questioning, James O. Pyle, 2018.

“At its core,” says Jack Sidnell, “conversation analysis is a set of methods for working with audio and video recordings of talk and social interaction” (Conversation Analysis: An Introduction, 2010).

1.  A worthwhile book on conversation, The Handbook of Conversation Analysis, Jack Sidnell and Tanya Stivers, 2014.
2.  Know the terms of conversation and how you and others implement them.  This is an article by Richard Nordquist.  He has written a couple of books on messaging.  And one comment from his Amazon page said that it was a good book to use with beginners of rhetoric.  
3.  This can be fun.  It’s worth an examination.
4.  Can you direct conversations?  You do this all the time.
5.  The Thirty Day Conversational Hypnosis Challenge: The Ultimate Conversational Hypnosis Primer to Help You Learn How to Master Hypnotic Persuasion and Influence, Bryan Westra, 2017.
6.  Hypnosis Without Consent: Legal or Illegal?  Covert Hypnosis Techniques.  Conversational Hypnosis.
7.  Reintegration of Personality.
8.  Patterns of the Hypnotic Technique of Milton H. Erikson, Bandler, and Grinder, 1996.
9.  Trans-Formations: Neurolinguistic Programming and the Structure of Hypnosis, Bandler, John Grinder and Richard Bandler, 1981.
10.  That’s Not What I Meant!  How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships, Deborah Tannen, 2013.
11.  You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, Deborah Tannen, 2007.
12.  Talking with Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know, Malcolm Gladwell, 2021. Recommended by Chase  Hughes in this interview with Eric Hunley on January 30, 2020. 
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Learn how to keep your cool and get the results you want when emotions flare.  When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices:  Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle the conversation badly and suffer the consequences, or read Crucial Conversations and discover how to communicate best when it matters most. Crucial Conversations gives you the tools you need to step up to life’s most difficult and important conversations, say what’s on your mind, and achieve the positive resolutions you want.  You’ll learn how to:

Prepare for high-impact situations with a 6-minute mastery technique.

Make it safe to talk about almost anything.

Be persuasive, not abrasive.

Keep listening when others blow up or clam up.

Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want.

Whether they take place at work or at home, with your neighbors or your spouse, crucial conversations can have a profound impact on your career, your happiness, and your future.  With the skills you learn in this book, you’ll never have to worry about the outcome of a crucial conversation again.

Cal State Northridge has an online master’s program in Speech Pathology.  Good to know.

The biggest anxiety-causing aspect of any conversation is not knowing how to reply effectively but replying so that you get what you want and on your terms.  You want to keep your negotiating counterpart engaged until you win.

What’s the best reply to “I’ll get back to“?

Ok, when should I expect your call or email?

BUSINESS CONVERSATION
1. Icebreakers during an interview.

When I was doing my research for this meeting, I noticed that you spoke about Poiuyts at the Veeblefetzer conference two years ago. That’s a controversial issue, so I’m curious how your presentation was received.”

Your LinkedIn profile says you worked in the medical devices before moving into high-tech. While I can see how those two industries are similar, I can’t help but think that there are some differences in how the two industries operate.”

I heard you were on the Potrezebie development team. Did you know when you were working on it that it would turn out to be such a groundbreaking product?”

This approach has three advantages:

It shows that you cared enough about the meeting to do some research.

It gets the client talking about their favorite subject: themselves.

Because you’re already talking business, it’s a smooth segue to other business issues.

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This was good, and the guy, Jefferson Fischer, is definitely worth a follow.