On the topic of negotiations, there is no better place to start than Chris Voss’s book, Never Split the Difference.  The second best place is with Jim Camp’s book, Start With No: The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don’t Want You to Know, 2002.  Note the date on this.  If you haven’t versed yourself in these skills, strategies, and tactics, you’re a little late to the game and you should start today.

After that then try Chris’s website and his newsletter at Black Swan, called The Edge. Sign up for his newsletters, and you can start learning how to be a more effective communicator today.  Seriously.  

However, I have listened to some terrific interview of Chris by several interviewers. I’ve listened to my favorite guys, whose names I won’t mention, but so far at least it is this kid who has for me produced the most valuable insights from Chris Voss.  Give it a listen.

We all want to communicate effectively, and the best way to do that is weigh with great strategy and tactical execution the other person’s needs and wants.  If someone is angry, it is your job to dial them down.  You start with your late-night DJ voice to get them to a more empathetic position.  There is nothing greater than shared empathy: that’s love.  If it’s not love, then it’s friendship or something pretty close to it.  Besides the two books I refer to above as the starters, you’ll also want to get your hands on the following 3 books. Some you can find online for free in a pdf.  

1. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher, 2010.  
2. 3-D Negotiation: Powerful Tools to Change the Game in Your Most Important Deals, David A. Lax & James K. Sebenius, 2006.  
3. Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life, Stuart Diamond, 2010.  
4. Dealmaking: The New Strategy of Negotiauctions, Guhan Subramanian, 2011.
5.  Negotiating Contracts, Chris Voss.

For more on Chris Voss, go to this site and type in his name, Chris Voss.

Listen to both of these carefully. And if you want to know how to negotiate during a salary negotiation, give these a listen.

Listen to both of the following carefully if you want to know how to negotiate during a salary negotiation.

Negotiate a Higher Salary.

I’m Sure You Have a Range in Mind . . . .

Negotiate your way to lower bills with Chris Voss.  

Friday, May 3, 2019

How to Overcome the Objection Everytime,” Chris Voss, November13, 2017

1.  Every stated objection is a counter-offer in disguise, an implied agreement, and a cry for help.  The stated objection isn’t the real problem.  It’s blocking for an emotional one.

What’s the real problem? Dignity. So once we navigated these dignity issues with Dwight, his surrender was accomplished.

2.  The stated objection isn’t the real problem.  It’s blocking for an emotional one.

In “Way of the Wolf” Jordan Belfort (The Wolf of Wall Street) says, “…objections are merely smokescreens for uncertainty…” On this, I’m willing to agree with Mr. Belfort.

What’s another word for uncertainty? Fear.


Our student labeled trust as the potential client’s main priority and demonstrated his understanding of its importance. This positioned him to offer a free no-obligation analysis as a way to work towards building the trust of the potential client.


  1. Objections are counter-offers in disguise.
  2. The stated objection is blocking for the real objection–which is emotional.-

5 Elements of Emotional Intelligence to Use During Negotiation,” Brandon Voss, November 5, 2018


Studies have shown that sadness makes us more impatient and anger increases our desire for reward. That’s not to suggest that emotions are bad or should be ignored. On the contrary, emotions are like superpowers—they can be an invaluable source of insight and power if we learn how to use them in productive ways.


Internal Motivation


Social Skills

1. Mirroring.  

Perfect skill to deal with open-ended, undefined agenda calls. You get in your low stakes practice in for your high stakes performance, you make people feel good, and then they dump all sorts of important information on you quickly.  Every time you execute this and they show their hidden cards you are going to say to yourself “Boom! Drop the mike!”  Here’s how it goes:
CALLER: “Have you got a few minutes to talk?”
YOU: “A few minutes to talk?”
Write this on a 3×5 card, or a slip of paper and keep it next to your phone. We double-dog dare you!

2.  Using Personality Types to Improve Your Sales Skills.