On the topic of negotiations, there is no better place to start than Chris Voss’s book, Never Split the Difference.  The second best place is with Jim Camp’s book, Start With No: The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don’t Want You to Know, 2002.  Note the date on this.  If you haven’t versed yourself in this skills, strategies, and tactics, you’re a little late to the game and you should start today.

After that then try Chris’s website and his newsletter at Black Swan, called The Edge. Sign up for his newsletters, and you can start learning how to be a more effective communicator today.  Seriously.  

However, I have listened to some terrific interview of Chris by several interviewers. I’ve listened to my favorite guys, whose names I won’t mention, but so far at least it is this kid who has for me produced the most valuable insights from Chris Voss.  Give it a listen.

We all want to communicate effectively, and the best way to do that is weigh with great strategy and tactical execution the other person’s needs and wants.  If someone is angry, it is your job to dial them down.  You start with your late-night DJ voice to get them to a more empathetic position.  There is nothing greater than shared empathy: that’s love.  If it’s not love, then it’s friendship or something pretty close to it.  Besides the two books I refer to above as the starters, you’ll also want to get your hands on the following 3 books. Some you can find online for free in a pdf.  

1. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher, 2010.  
2. 3-D Negotation: Powerful Tools to Change the Game in Your Most Important Deals, David A. Lax & James K. Sebenius, 2006.  
3. Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life, Stuart Diamond, 2010.  
4. Dealmaking: The New Strategy of Negotiauctions, Guhan Subramanian, 2011.

For more on Chris Voss, go to this site and type in his name, Chris Voss.

Listen to both of these carefully. And if you want to know how to negotiate during a salary negotiation, give these a listen.

Listen to both of the following carefully if you want to know how to negotiate during a salary negotiation.

Negotiate a Higher Salary.

I’m Sure You Have a Range in Mind . . . .

Negotiate your way to lower bills with Chris Voss.